Seriously, I can't believe you actually asked for this/I wrote it.

*

"When are you going to shave that thing?" Ryan said, reclining in his office chair. "Shavuot was three weeks ago."

"Shut up, I have a permit," Spencer said, typing leisurely and occasionally looking ponderously at his screen.

"No, you have special privileges as a result of providing sexual favors, there's a difference," Ryan tossed his pen at the wall, hoping it would leave a blue mark before it fell.

"Whatever," Spencer said without looking away from his screen, ghost of a smile on his lips. "It's not my fault the new medic thinks it's hot."

"That guy thinks everything is hot," Ryan rolled his eyes. "He thinks shower sandals are hot. He's like BAKUM shock on crack."

"Whatever, as long as he keeps getting me permits," Spencer smiled broadly now, leaning back in his chair and looking at Ryan.

"You're starting to look like Baba Sali," Ryan picked up another pen. "I'm just saying. As your friend."

Now it was Spencer's turn to roll his eyes. "Shut the fuck up and pass me a shoko."